Okay- I lied... Yes I Am!

Recently I tried to hook up my guy friend C with my chick friend M’s friend D.  I never met D but M said she was really nice.  She even showed me a pic and she looked decent.  So everything was arranged- us 4 would have lunch together last Saturday.  They opted to have M and I go along to ease the awkwardness.  On Thursday I was chit chatting with M on AIM and she asked me about C.  Here is how the convo played out:

 

M:  Is C a gentleman?

Me: of course he is.

M:  He’s nice?

Me: of course.  I wouldn’t be trying to hook him up if I didn’t think he was a great guy.

M: is he going to pay for her?

Me: (my mouth literally dropped when I read that) what? Are you serious?

M: yea- she likes GENEROUS guys (yes- generous was in caps)

Me: ummm… she’s a gold digger? Pass! I’m not hooking him up with her.

M: no she’s not, it’s different.

Me: really? It sounds the same to me.

 

So later that night I felt like I should tell C about this and let him decide for himself.  He opted not to meet her.  He said something along the lines of, “that’s not right.  I would have paid for them even if they were butt ugly b/c that’s the right thing to do.  But now that she expects it I feel like I don’t want to anymore.”  I totally agreed with him.  I’m a smidge annoyed that M even suggested hooking up D with my friend knowing that she is like that.  But perhaps M doesn’t think there is anything wrong with being that way.  Apparently there are people like that…. Which leads me next to my next encounter....

 

Last week I hung out with my girlfriend J.  As we were tanning on the grass she told me about how she ran into a girl she went to HS with.  She told me how in HS she would ask her friend where she wanted to go to college and what career she wanted.  Her friend told her that her goal is to find a rich man, marry him and stay home to watch the kids.  (again- my mouth dropped when I heard this).  During HS her mom would give her $ to go to the spa and buy luxury items so she would look good.  Fast forward to present day- now that girl is married to a rich guy, has a huge house in Manhattan and has a baby.  My friend and I were figuring out how does someone go about making that her goal in life?  When you meet a guy do you go “Hi nice to meet you, my name is H.  *bat eyelashes*  can I see your bank statement?”  We were joking around and said “damn- we are doing something wrong.  We should have thought the same way- no stress about work and we didn’t even have to go to grad school”.  J and I just couldn’t understand how someone (guy or gal) could just be with someone b/c the # of digits in their bank account.  I guess we were just brought up differently- our parents taught us to get what you want you have to work hard for it.  I believe it’s true- it is def more rewarding when you are able to buy your own stuff with your own hard earned $.  But then again- the life of a gold digger is probably hard too…. Being in a relationship where you are only superficially satisfied. 

I understand that people want to be with someone that will be able to support themselves and the family.  They want to be able to live comfortably without worrying about how they will be able to pay their bills on time and how to feed the family.  There is nothing wrong with that.  Heck- I probably wouldn't want to be with someone that couldn't support himself.  I'm ranting about people who are specifically looking for someone that is rich; filthy rich.  And the #1 item on their checklist is that their significant other be worth X amount of $.

and i can live without you.

when it comes down to deciding if you should stay with a person or not... the thought of 'how would i feel if they weren't in my life anymore?' comes into mind.  if you know you will be okay in the long run, then maybe it is best if you part ways.  but if you know that you will be miserable then maybe you should do whatever you can do to make the relationship work.

in describing your S.O., if the word but comes into play, then maybe he/she isn't the one for you.  if he/she is, then there would be no but b/c you would love everything about him/her.  ie. he is sweet, intelligent, handsome, etc.. BUT he has no sense of humor.

anyhoot--- all this relationship stuff is so confusing.  since 2 yrs. ago my mom's been telling me to find a 'nice guy' so i can settle down.  she even breaks it down for me.  she says 'have a bf by 24, get engaged 2 yrs later, get married a yr. later, have a kid a yr later.  that way you can have your 1st kid before you're 30.  you do not want to be old and have a baby... it is a lot harder'.  YES! those were momma's exact words.  at first i laughed it off thinking she was nuts... but like always, maybe she's right... mom does know best?  so my point is, i know what i like and what i don't like by now.... i don't wanna waste my time.. nor anyone else's.

sometimes i may come off as a bitch to people b/c i'm too honest.  supposedly there is a such thing as being too honest.  when i was younger i never spoke my mind, i kept my opinions to myself.  but as i got older i learned that keeping my mouth shut did not help myself or others.  like i always tell my grls "tell me the truth.  if this makes me look ugly let me know.  don't let me walk out like that !  "  lol... well you get the idea.  only real friends will tell you the truth.  and when it comes to a S.O. i rather be upfront with him and let him know what i think and how i feel.  i don't wanna hold that all in and then later on let it build up and drive me and him nuts.  and if the relationship does not work out, i would like to be honest with him and tell him exactly why.  constructive criticism is always good... if you take in the advice it is good. 

i'm gonna end this with a quote from SATC " I'm looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love."  i think this best describes what i'm going through now.  i'm done dating just for the sake of dating.

think before you talk.